Carsonisms Part III

Several of my readers have requested that I publish more Carsonisms.  So, here we go. You are welcome to quote them to impress your friends, or if you are a man at a bar, you can use them to pick-up chicks when all else fails, either way, I would appreciate author acknowledgement.  However, they are published and protected by U.S. copyright law, and cannot be used in any publication without my permission and attribution to the author.

Here they are. Please be careful because they can be dangerous in front of the wrong or un-initiated eyes:

“Both had lean, tanned legs, just like he would have ordered in a pleasant dream.”   (Blue Shadows)

“She was running at a faster pace than Wyatt, and she inspired him to go at a faster pace as well. His eyes counted the mesmerizing rhythm of her swishing pendulum and non-stop frog-legged action, striding effortlessly in the quest to go nowhere.”  (Blue Shadows)

“Couldn’t be better, Carrie. Just like eating cheese on a Ritz, lying on the beach, waves licking my parched pinkies.”  (Blue Shadows)

Author interview with Defiance Press, 1/5/2024 on SRCarson.com:

How do you handle literary criticism?”

Answer: “I call cousin Guido.  He says he will take care uh dis little problem.”

Author interview:

“When writing an emotionally draining scene that is either sad or sexy, for example how do you get in the mood, Mr. Carson?”

Answer: “I sometimes resort to red wine for romantic scenes and single malt scotch during sad or intense scenes.”

“Honestly though, would you be as excited to read this blog piece if the title was: Boogers are Important in our Daily lives.?”  (Reading is Sexy, Part I)

Gorgeous Guinness was calling, but really, she could just whisper and he would hear her quite easily, carried by the whispering wind of time.  (Ollie and the Letter, 11/27/23)

“In the end, I have to blame it on Bob the Whale” (Bob Started it 7/27/23)

“When you see evil, you need to get mean and kick evil’s ass.”  (I Still can’t Find the Old Man.  8/6/23)

“I want you to go out and do good things and make a difference for others, even when you are fatigued and feeling weak—and when you see evil, you need to get mean and kick evil’s ass.  I know that is what I will do.  (Easter with Ollie. 9/9/23)

So, be prepared.  Don’t be offended if someone calls you a tardigrade someday.  Accept is as a complement that you are tough as nails and indestructible, although, you may not be the prettiest or most handsome creature.  (Don’t be Weak:  Be a Mighty Tardigrade.  9/17/23)

“Well,” said Ollie to himself. “Hell’s Bells. How many presidents do I have to save?”  (Ollie and Catalina Island, 9/23/23)

I know, funny, because we all know that if you are a Richard, you eventually must become a Dick.  (It is now Safe to use the R Word.  3/10/24)

“I wish you all well.  And remember, live with honor, help those who need help when you can, and above all, pray every day.” (Ollie in Orange 3/25/24)

The hairy mammoth’s flaring nose flushed like fire and Wyatt figured the ropes of hair protruding from this guy’s generous nostrils would come in handy if he needed to tie him up to the toilet seat and then flush the handle a couple times after doing his business.”  (Blue Shadows)

Occasionally, even stately oak trees in a forest fire need protection as well, regardless of their character, and he would be there when called to save a single tree, in the forest, no questions asked, no matter the size of that tree. (Blue Shadows)

She leaned in and kissed him again, then moved closer to him, her legs crossed daintily, but expertly, showing her shapely runner’s legs, allowing Wyatt to imagine following the smooth terrain of the skin up above her mid-thigh hemline to quite a pleasant conclusion, simply by using his subtle vision.  (Blue Shadows)

“I am no threat to the president, but I wonder, is it the metal that bothers you, or the fact that it represents the crucifixion of Jesus Christ?”  (Ollie and the Secret Service Agents 2/17/24)

“I am drinking red wine at this moment and it is bathing my neuron tangle quite nicely with the mellow nothingness of soaring cloud-hopping.”  (It Keeps Coming   4/17/24)

Beaucoup Dien Cai Dau:  For the very few of you who have not yet read my books, you will need this definition:  It was brought home from Vietnam by soldiers, and is kind of Vietnamese slang for Crazy in the Head. (Retire Immediately 4/13/24)

The world is in trouble and needs a lot of things, but maybe it needs more trombone too.  Try to listen to it. Maybe you will feel it as you release stress.  (We need more trombone.  11/20/23)

© SRCarson Publications, 2024