An Old Friend and a Cast Iron Skillet

Ok, well by definition, he’s not old because he graduated from high school with me some years ago, and as my readers know, I’m not old because I will never let the old man in. So last week, my friend “R” who lived down the road from me for four years out in the country prior to our graduation from high school, came to visit my humble abode for the second time, and I have yet to visit him.

That was damn special because hardly anyone visits me, probably because I am a loner, but clearly, he is the only high school classmate who bothers to take the time to do it.  So, I appreciated it a lot.

He is retired, but I am not, so he writes to me: “Carson, I am traveling back to Indiana for a funeral celebration for my dear uncle and I wondered if I could come by and visit you there in the Rocky Mountains?”

I said, “Sure thing R!  When are you going to arrive?”

No response for a few days.  Then, he starts sending me photos of his leisurely drive across country from his home in the Northwest, stopping at various beautiful sights, camping and sharing the natural beauty with me. Seems he does not look at the clock much or the calendar, and that is refreshing in this busy world we live in. Then, a couple days later I get a photo from Montana, then I think Wyoming, and then a few vague hints on when he may arrive.

But I didn’t care. I was excited that he was making the effort to see me after all these years so it didn’t matter.  I would live my life and work, and not worry too much.  That’s hard for me, because it seems I like to look at the clock and calendar.  So finally, he writes something like “I am now 100 miles away but will stay the night somewhere.”.   So that narrowed it down enough for me to buy some steaks to cook out.

We talked about the old times, and our lives that were so separate and distant over many years, but yet, in some ways we were connected. Although he was always more social than I was, more of a partier I guess, and a wanderer, maybe that was the connection —a past history as neighbors and classmates, but deeper than that, I think a sense that we both learned that despite our different experiences and personalities, our lives were filled with very similar drama and tremendous pain and devastating loss, that neither of us knew about, but yet, we both found a melding of souls that have suffered significantly, but yet shared a desire to live life, laugh, and make a difference for others, if possible.

He told me about our class reunion, a year ago, that I didn’t attend.  He said I should’ve gone, but at the same time, told me many there looked quite old and worn, some having trouble walking, I think.  And he thought he and I were lucky. He told me a total of 60 classmates had died already.   R also mentioned a few classmates that bored him because they were stuck on themselves and what they accomplished so he left early.  But then, he did mention the blonde named “C” and how great she looked!  When he mentioned “C” I suddenly perked up and told him I dated her in high school for a little while. He said, “Are you kidding me?”    I remember her beauty, but that we were both shy and we sat on her dad’s couch and I seemed to remember he liked to suddenly walk in to the room every now and then and check on us. (me) to make sure I wasn’t doing any hanky-panky. Well, sadly I didn’t have a car and had zero clue on how to date a woman then.

R and I lived out in the country, surrounded by cow pastures and corn fields, and in back of our houses, was a woods and behind that, a very beautiful, but small pond, filled with fish and turtles.  I told him I would walk into the woods in the summer and swim alone in the lake, floating in the water, and enjoying the freedom of swimming in nature. Yes, of course, I know what you were thinking. I swam naked alone in that beautiful pond, hoping the snapping turtles didn’t snap at my love tool. Of course, it was dangerous swimming alone, but we were definitely invincible back then. 

He told me he did the same thing, walking back there alone and swimming alone. Of course, I didn’t ask if he was skinny dipping too. Who cares. He probably did. But he did say the owner of the pond did catch him and yelled at him.

We did other things as well, I guess, like I remember riding our bikes as fast as we could for many miles, riding to other cities, racing each other along the way, and one day, riding our bikes on a newly cement-poured interstate highway that was not yet open to the public and we rode on it until we couldn’t anymore, to another city, and back. Helmets did not exist then.  Neither did the internet exist or cell phones or fax machines.  We did have LP records that required a turn table though. Chicago and Led Zeppelin and maybe a little Emerson, Lake and Palmer.  Adventure and fun.  Super cool.

We were both quite good at our respective sports in high school and college. I ran track and cross-country and he was an excellent swimmer.   I remember he raced me in a college pool and destroyed me by a lap and then of course, he mentioned I destroyed him running somewhere, I don’t remember.

And yes, he mentioned something I long forgot.  He told me during his visit that he took me to a party and introduced me to a marijuana joint.  And everyone laughed after I took a few tokes and said, “now, what am I supposed to feel?  I don’t even have the munchies.”   Never smoked again.

Well, we drank some beer last week, burned some steaks, talked about girls and had a good time reminiscing but at the same time discussing our present life.  Those details of course, will be left unsaid here. But I think it is finally time to mention the Cast Iron Skillet.

R bought me that large cast-iron skillet you see in the photo!  Never had one before, but maybe he saw my old, crummy pots and pans and decided I needed one, or that food tasted better with it, but I appreciated it.  Now, I am trying to learn how to cook with it.

He also told me something else: “Carson, if you ever need me for anything, I will come back.” That was powerful generosity that I did not expect. So, I told him I would do the same for him.

Thanks for the Visit R, and the skillet, and the comradery that I will always cherish.

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