Wind Chime Psy-Ops:  Any ideas?

Warning to my readers who love to hang loud Wind Chimes outside your house:  This piece will offend you. So, I suggest reading it after a couple shots of bourbon.  Your thinking will soon be as clear as the flow of a meandering mountain stream, naturally cleansing your chronically metal-clanged neurons. That is, until you try to get up and walk a straight line.

I live in an area which thankfully, is relatively quiet and the back of my house is a forested area, frequented by large amounts of deer, sometimes black bear mommas and their cubs, occasional mountain lions, bobcats and pesky coyotes that cry and howl every morning at 3 am.  They do stop howling though when I get out on my deck in my underwear and throw rocks at the pests. I do have neighbors up on a hill, some distance from my house. One added bonus is that in back of my house on my deck, I can sit outside in the summer, listen to music, drink some wine and let the music invade my soul as my animal friends hide in the bushes and I imagine —wag their perplexed tails and lick their hungry lips. In fact, a person could actually go without clothes on my deck and enjoy the natural scene without the un-natural encumbrance of clothing, without the neighbors on the hill seeing.  I have an electric-powered screen which protects the view from the distant neighbors on the hill, in case they want to snoop with binoculars.  But either way, I don’t care.  Let them enjoy it.   Unfortunately, though, it’s not perfectly quiet because cars do pass by on their way home, but it is relatively peaceful surrounding my house, that is until I go outside to shovel snow, or perhaps trim my trees or even try to plant living things that never seem to grow here in the rarified mountain air and dry, sandy desert soil.

When the winds are high, the wind chimes found at the neighbor’s house begin their cacophony of clangy mind-jumbling annoyance. I hear it and immediately wish the chronic ringing in my left ear would energize itself louder, to drown out the chimes.  I try to ignore it, but it continues, non-stop.  Now, they are not very near me, but their Chimes try to bring the neighbor’s house close to me as if it is sitting in my driveway, saying “I’m here!  Doesn’t everyone like me?”  Then, sometimes I try to take a walk around the neighborhood, running hard up the hills, then walking on the flats, that is, on the rare occasion there are flats.  And wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I escape, some more neighbors a mile away have a wind-chime cacophony conference competing for the loudest non-musical chimes surrounding dueling homes occupied by owners who also compete for the greenest grass.

I am sure these people think these chimes are wonderful for their families.  I did five minutes of intense research on chimes, and found out that some people find them calming and pleasant adding to the “peaceful ambience’ of outdoor spaces such as gardens or porches. Some apparently consider it a Feng Shui thing that enhances positive vibes or something.  In fact, apparently in some cultures, the chimes have symbolic significance such as warding off evil spirits.

While this all may be true, I say these chimes are annoying to me and are almost similar to the old fingernails on the chalkboard trick that was effective in knocking students off their chairs back in the days when there actually were chalkboards in school. So since apparently students don’t have chalkboard now, I am told, then, Windchimes are the new chalkboards of the neighborhoods of humans!

But although these people are likely on the most part innocent of purposeful harassment, I wonder if the discordant tones of these chimes are actually a code of some type:  providing secret communications in the neighborhood that cannot be intercepted by the NSA or other agencies, examining electronic emails and text messages.  If this is the case, it is brilliant, but I am not sure my brain is willing, let alone able to crack the code.  Or perhaps the communication is as benign as: “Mary, I am baking cookies.  I need some flour.  Can you come and bring me some?”  Or, “Hey John, we’re outside busting moves to the chimes.  Can you walk over and bring some beer?  I ran out.” Or, “Hey Stan, did you see that hot chick who moved into 4104 down the street? I wonder if she needs help mowing the lawn.”

It could happen.  Remember WWII history and the Navajo Code-talkers, whose unwritten language could not be broken by the Japanese? The wind chimes may have an unbreakable code like the morse code of the woodpeckers I discussed a few years ago.  Maybe, it’s all a part of the psy-ops plan to make us little mindless lemmings so the CCP can take us over, without firing a shot, similar to Tik Tok.

Either way, I think these people with loud chimes should put a rubber band around them when they are not home, are not outside on the deck, so as to protect us with sensitive ears.  I guess I could take matters into my own hands and do the rubber band thing myself, but then, I realized many of my neighbors are armed and trained to shoot.  So, I’ll do nothing, but try to think of some music in my head when the shrill chimes invade my ringing ears.  I’m thinking that music will be:  Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

I am lucky though, I still have my owl who hoots at me while watching me from the roof.

If anyone else has any ideas on this subject, please let me know so I can implement them.

© SRCarson Publications, 2025