My Response to Reader’s Prompt from Kris

“Write about fun ideas including little-known facts, funny conspiracy theories and favorite jokes”

This joke I am sharing is in honor of my late mother, who believe it or not, told it to me years ago and it is one of the best, if not complicated ones I remember. She may have had a few sips of wine before she told me, I don’t remember,  but I loved her humor and laugh.

Three Priests

Three priests were traveling to Pittsburgh.  They decided to take the train, and they arrived together and all three priests carefully eyed the girl who was inside the ticket booth, selling tickets.

They looked at each other and were suddenly nervous after they saw her well-formed beauty in a tight sweater, perfect in the cold air,  and it seemed no one had the courage to go up to her to buy tickets and finally, the first priest said, “Fine, I will go and buy tickets. You guys are pitiful.  Just stay here.”

So, the first priest goes up to the ticket lady and says, “Good morning, ma’am.  He smiled because he was proud that he had not fainted yet.   “I would like to buy three pickets to Tits-burgh and…”  Then, realizing what he said, his face flushed crimson and he ran away without buying the tickets.

He came back to the other priests and they asked him where are the tickets?  He just shook his head.  The second priest suddenly found the courage and said, “You guys are worthless.  Now you need me to go buy the tickets.”

So, the second priest walks up to the nice lady in the ticket booth, with the tight sweater and says, “Good morning young lady.  I would like to buy three tickets to Pittsburgh.  He stopped for a few seconds, smiling at how proud he was to say the sentence correctly. Then, he continued:  And please, give me the change in nipples and dimes.”

When he realized what he had said, he put his head down and then ran away to the other two priests, having also failed in his mission, because of the sweater lady.  They looked at him and said, “what did you say about worthless?”

The last priest, the oldest one and apparently wisest, said, “Ok. We have wasted too much time and we are going to miss the train to Pittsburgh.  I will take care of it, finally.”

So, he went up to the sweater lady in the ticket booth and said, “Good morning young lady. I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh!  And I would like the change in nickels and dimes.  He stopped and smiled, looked back at his buddies, proud of his accomplishment.  Then, he continued after she gave him the tickets: “And one more thing young lady, if you keep dressing like this, when you die and go to heaven, Saint Finger will shake his peter at you!”

She screamed laughing hysterically and he ran off to join the others, but at least he had the tickets.

© SRCarson 2025