These four phrases, ‘Mommy – nourished Zombie neurons’, ‘merciless hips’, ‘crossed – leg man  bait’ and ‘monkey hallucinations’ are all in my upcoming novel.  Of course, you’re probably scratching your head…hopefully it’s your head and not something lower you’re scratching, wondering what the hell connection there is with these phrases, but then I guess that’s how I keep you reading right?  And please whatever you’re scratching, please wash your hands before you start typing on the computer, especially if it’s a public one.  So don’t worry, I’ll tie it all in for you once I stop scratching too.

Yeah, I guess it’s a blatant marketing ploy isn’t it ? – keep you hanging, but then since when was marketing rocket science?  For that matter, what is rocket science anymore, since we aren’t doing much rocket science now and instead hitching rides on Russian spacecraft.  Not that I’ve got anything against the Russian people at all; they’re good people and their women are amazingly gorgeous.  But c’mon, we should be back in space too but we’ve got our priorities mixed up and can’t even teach our kids math and science, but we’re very good in social studies and “feel good” immersions.  We are number one in the world in political correctness.  Too many of us have turned into soft little wimps who cry foul when the work is hard.  Wake up America; I love you too much to see you in this shape.

Damn that was a hell of a variance from my thoughts on marketing.  I won’t apologize though.  Problem is people in my profession are piss – poor in marketing and business; well I mean people in my non – writing profession that is.  And if we’re good in medicine, we’re usually swimming in the crapper when it comes to business, and vice versa.  Of course, there are exceptions.  I hope.

Unfortunately for you, my randomness continues, probably because I am actually in a REM sleep fugue state while I type but I want to get this off my chest.  There are at least two phrases or statements that I think need immediate deletion from our verbal vomit:

1)       “How are you?”  Ok, so I walk by someone and they barely look at me and toss this question to me.  Do they really expect a response?  No, of course not and if I do respond they don’t want to hear about how I am at all.  They keep walking, head buried in cell phone, satisfied that they have used the standard U.S. pleasantry and all is well.  But really it should be abolished.  I think even “hey” is better than ‘How are you?’ because “hey” at least doesn’t even intend for a response back except for another “hey”.  Fine.  Perfect.  Or, how about, if you walk by a lady, you smile and say, “yellow looks great on you.” Or maybe we could use the old phrases, “good morning” or “afternoon”, smile and keep walking.  Bottom line, the question “how are you?” should be made a misdemeanor offense in this country, unless the two people are stopped, looking at each other and actually listening.

2)      ‘Are we eating alone tonight’?  When I am asked that question at a restaurant, it makes me want to sew the lips shut on that waiter or waitress.  If I am alone, I am not ‘we’, I am ‘sir’ or perhaps ‘hey you’ but I am not ‘we’. Or maybe the server is hallucinating and sees  a friend that I don’t see sitting next to me.  If it’s a waitress and she’s hot, now of course I’ll make an exception, not sew her lips shut, but assume ‘we’ means the two of us are or will be together later and you know –  the rest.  I know, like many of my gender, I’m thinking with an organ that doesn’t contain neurons, just some important nerves.

I think I will end this chaotic drivel now and show my flexible ending skills:  Remember that no matter how strong and tough you think you are in this life, nothing matters but love.  If you don’t yet understand that, then you just don’t get it, and you’ll need to read my book.

SRC