Life Purpose: A Brief Retrospection

This piece is a little different from my usual reading selections in that it is devoid of humor, silliness, romance or fictional adventures.  Having said that, please keep reading though, because I will not allow myself to gum it up in a sloppy quagmire of soporific wordsmithing. At least, that is what I am hoping.

I’ve made a garbage truck worth of mistakes in my life, faltered and fallen quite a few times, and I’ve even suffered the unfathomable loss of the children I love, over twenty years ago.  And although I have had multiple instances when I have cheated death, it was clearly the near-death event on April 10, 2013, where I was told I had a 90% chance of death, that my soul, it seems, has been taught to feel the pulse of life differently after God decided to keep me on this earth for some reason.

I will now give you three of the many examples of what I have learned:

After my 2013 Near Death, the nurses and staff were traumatized about the details of the event, and that has been discussed previously.  But I failed to mention that there was a nurse who came up to me some weeks later, took me aside and said, to my best recollection: “Dr. Carson, I walked away from the Church years ago, because I no longer believed. But after I saw what happened to you, and how you were brought back to life, I am now a believer, and I am going back to Church.”  It was that heart-warming admission, that made me realize that God used me to help bring a lost soul back to him.

Another personal interaction occurred perhaps somewhere in 2007.  About eight or nine years previously, during my medical practice in another city, I worked very hard to take care of a sixteen-year-old kid who was struggling valiantly with his severe and unusual disease, requiring multiple procedures and critical care admissions. I moved away to another city, and years later, his sister somehow found me in this new city, found my number and called me and the conversation went something like this: “Dr. Carson, my name is X and you took care of my brother Y, and I just needed you to know that he died recently.  He told us though, that he appreciated everything you did for him when you saved him many times, and you inspired him when he wanted to quit, and he loved you for that.  Thank you, Dr. Carson.  He never forgot you and we will not either.”  After that, I remember it felt like a giant apple decided to get stuck in my throat, and I thanked her for taking the time to call me, and I told her that yes, I remember him well and never will forget him.

The final and most recent event was several weeks ago. In background, I took care of this very nice lady in another city, and she came to me in consultation for her problem that no other doctor could figure out.  She was frustrated, and as I recall, a little hopeless that previous consultants could not figure it out, but instead, some said perhaps it was psychological. Or, at least, that is my recollection now, perhaps 27 years later or more.  Anyway, I was lucky and blessed to make the correct diagnosis and start her on a course of surgical procedures that would correct her potentially lethal non-psychological problem. In fact, I think I remember being concerned that she delayed the procedure for a few weeks so that she and her husband could take an Alaska cruise, because she always wanted to go to Alaska before she died. The good news is she came home in time, had the procedure and went back to her healthy life.

Recently, while working in the ICU, she suddenly called me, having obtained my number from my office here locally, and out of the blue introduced herself and it went something like: “Hi, I am S., do you remember me?  It’s been many years.”  I said of course I did, immediately, because I never forgot her amazing story.  We had a warm conversation, and I was pleased to hear that she was healthy and enjoying retired life.  The rest of my day brightened up quite a bit, and my previously plodding steps became more energetic.

To finally sum it up, after my 2013 Near Death, I began to ask myself why God chose to save me and what was my purpose now in life ­—a deep question I never bothered to think about before.  I have lost a lot, but this loss has given me some gifts within my soul that I never would have realized without Near Death, and now, I realize what my purpose is and it is to use my blessings and gifts from God to influence the lives of others in a positive way either with my work, or what I write, to the best of my ability, despite my significant shortcomings.

I know my purpose. Do you think we all have a purpose on this earth?

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