Of the throngs of readers who enjoy my unpredictable, humorous, sexy and thought- provoking blogs, I am sure at least two or three of you have been anxiously awaiting my decision on when it is safe to use the “R” word.  Or more specifically, will S.R. Carson finally create a real middle name rather than the letter R that was assigned him by his parents at birth?  After all, who goes through life with an initial as a middle name? Is this Carson’s curse?  Or maybe, it’s his blessing?  I discussed this extensively in my epic blog dated 11/13/22: When is it Safe to Use the R. Word? | SR Carson.

Several of you have been waiting for the final answer on what will be the real middle name that R stands for, hoping that some day the answer will be written.  For the remainder of you who actually have a life with meaning, you need to read this anyway just to see what I finally came up with that would do justice to the Carson name, and of course, provide a proper full name for documents such as diplomas (I think I have enough of those), deeds, real estate documents, police records etc.  So, here it goes, after 1 year and four months have passed since the original blog, I have finally come to peace with the answer to the R mystery.

I have studied many potential names, some more worthy than others:  For example, Rolando and Ricardo — because of my coveted faux-Latin heritage and dance moves, Rufus, Rathbone and then of course, Ronnie —because of my sometimes-southern drawl that occurs when drinking, Ryan, Ricky, and then Roman — because of my Italian nose.  But actually, it seems ironically, Richard found it’s way into my brain the most times — I know, funny because we all know that when you are a Richard, you eventually must become a Dick.  I actually thought if I added the respected and honorable Richard as a middle name, now that I am over forty, then, it would be too late for me to become a Dick!  Then, after much thought, I realized this transition would be inevitable —an inexorable process that would be carried to my grave and tombstone.  S. Dick Carson.

Thankfully though, after much thought and introspection, I have finally made a decision.  But I imagine this decision might throw my readers off a little, you know, because it might be something you didn’t expect or even want to read.  But here it is:

The “R” will remain an abbreviation in the name S.R. Carson, forever.  It seems no other name fits appropriately, so I will leave it as it was assigned by my parents.

You see, when I leave this earth, and Jesus decides to take me this time, it is the lamb of God who will assign me a proper middle name when I am blessed to be with him. Or maybe, he will choose to leave it as is as an abbreviation, either way I am sure he will make the correct decision, as always.

© SRCarson 2024