I almost lost my life seven years ago, to this day. Well, I had close calls before, but this was the real deal. The last words I said to my lady friend that morning as I drove to work to take care of critically ill patients in the ICU was: “Have a great day dear, and I’ll talk to you soon.”  In fact, earlier that morning, amazingly, I swam a thousand yards in the lap pool at the local gym without a sign that anything might be wrong. Then, about noon, while doing a surgical tracheotomy, the staff noticed sweat on my forehead and a little tremor perhaps, but I completed the procedure and sat down in the Cardiac ICU to dictate my surgical report.

Then, it decided to happen.  Well maybe gentle at first but my angels were watching me before it hit hard.  I had a myocardial infarction while taking care of critically ill patients in the cardiac ICU.  Perhaps a little ironic in some ways because the healer now depended on others to heal him, but more importantly it was fortuitous.  A code blue was called, I was intubated and was in shock, clinging to what blood pressure was left to maintain my precarious life.  The experts said my lesion carried an 85 to 90% mortality.

The details surrounding this event and how divine intervention must have guided the skilled and professional angels around me are important here, because not only was my life saved, but my life changed completely—and I received a message from God, well, not directly, but through a feeling in my soul, that I was needed here on earth still, to accomplish something more.  I will let you read this short scene on Amazon so that you can soak in the details of this single event:

I came back to work about a month later, cherishing my lucky breathing, smiling at the beauty of the snow – capped mountains, savoring the smell of coffee in the morning and the songbirds waking me up in the morning. Large worries from the past now became little nothings. You see, I realized that if one thing had gone wrong, I would not be here to enjoy these wonderful things we see, hear, feel and taste here on this wonderful, yet brutal earth.  Nothing matters anymore, just health and love.  But really, if you don’t have health, nothing matters but love.

I smiled a lot after this, and was blessed to be able to rehab myself to good physical shape and I was able to work full time, as intensely as my partners in this career.  In fact, there was a bounce in my step, apparently, and so, one of the nurses called me “Dr. Happy Pants.”

As time went on, I realized that not only did I receive the gift of life and a start on a new life, but I was given a certain inner sense about things now – certain perceptions that I didn’t experience before. Then the tinnitus (ringing in the left ear) started about six months later, and this ringing has been with me ever since – a reminder I think of the gift I received and that this was the constant price I would have to pay for a new life.

I realized that my gift of life was to go back to work in my chosen medical field, in the Intensive Care Unit treating critically Ill patients and also in the outpatient clinic because that was my calling and that was how I was to serve Him.

So now, seven years later, I am working just as hard as I was before and I think, or at least I hope, just as effectively.  Perhaps I might not run down the hallways – patient to patient as fast, but I think I hold my own fairly well.  Yes, this was my gift from God, to come back and keep working to help sick people and use my knowledge and skills with his guidance.

But now, they don’t call me Dr. Happy Pants anymore. Perhaps it has been too long and it has become a stale phrase, or also, because maybe I don’t show that brightness and thankfulness outwardly anymore.   Perhaps it is both.  I realize now that I am so busy with all the stress of taking care of sick and dying patients, government regulations and the new Covid – 19 evil scourge that perhaps I have lost the meaning of what happened that day seven years ago because I am buried with the avalanche of daily life. 

I am disappointed in myself sometimes, when I seem to forget the wonderful blessing God gave me seven years ago, and perhaps, the teaching moment he provided to my soul when it seems that I take that day for granted in my busy daily life.

But my constant tinnitus reminds me daily that the shock to the body back then started the ringing and it is there to remind me to be thankful every day for my blessings and the ability to help others if I can.  That is my calling.  Now, when I find myself lost in the muck of life, I have learned that I must stop, look to the blue sky above and recall the lightning shock of that day and how it caused stress to others, but at the same time showed me the angels that God brought to surround me to save me and teach me what is important in life.

©SRCarson 2020