I am not much of a horticulturist at all, and most of the living things I plant in the dirt die prematurely, primarily because I forget to water them, however, as time has passed, I may have developed a bit of a green thumb, at least when it comes to Fig trees.  One of them is in my medical office, in front of the window, soaking up sun and everything else that comes its way including other staff and physicians.  He even functions as a Christmas tree that the staff come in and decorate every Christmas in my private office.  Some of them even take turns watering him, and of course, he loves the attention, especially from the female office staff.  My office fig tree has now become an office pet, so to speak.

His name is Seymour.  And he likes to drink black coffee in the morning.

I was walking through Home Depot one day, and right there in the middle of the walkway was a display of giant Fig trees. Very similar broad leaves that Seymour proudly displays, but they were scrawny and had crooked stems.  Except for one.  He was about three feet tall or so, and although he was scrawny and skinny, his stem was not so crooked.

So, I bought him right there! Grabbed him and put his pot in my cart and ran off to the cash register and now I was the proud father of another giant Fig!

I named him Frank. You know, Frank the Fig tree.

So, I transplanted him to a larger pot, hoping he had the potential to grow, put new fertilized potting soil in his pot and then that was all she wrote.  He was in my library at home, but soon I realized I needed to show him off a little, so I brought him outside to my deck in the summer to get some sun, gave him more fertilizer, planted some tall stakes to straighten out his crooked personality before it was too late, then, moved him inside into my great room in the winter.

Close to the window he now lives, because he is a sunbather who never gets burned. Amazingly, he started out about 3 feet (0.91 meters for my European readers), and now measures a whopping 8 feet tall (without the pot) which works out to 2.43 meters!  As you can see in the photo, he is approaching the ceiling now, and shows no signs of stopping so I will have to move him again to a place with a higher ceiling. And this is without giving him morning coffee, unlike Seymour.

Or, my readers, should I cut him down a little to fit?  Please tell me.  It is a difficult decision.

But keeping all things equal, I know fertilizer and watering make him grow, as well as sunlight, but I think something else is making him grow with excitement. I have observed that it seems immediately after I have female house guests or visitors, he grows like crazy!  The next day his growth is obvious — like he is inspired to do great things!  This does not happen when my male friends or colleagues come over. (That is quite rare by the way.)  No way, he stays where he is and does not budge until nature says he has to.

So, I guess that means that beautiful plants can inspire us in life and make us feel good, but  it also means a beautiful woman can do the same thing for a man as well as a giant Fig.

© SRCarson Publications, 2023