Clichés are used constantly and frankly quite a few are snore triggers and no longer have any useful meaning, at least, to me.   However, some can never or should be never changed, like the writing is on the wall.  That is biblical.

So, it is time for us to change and create new clichés and stop being so damn lazy with our words.

There are several that I don’t want to hear any more, and probably a lot more, but I can’t think of them right now.

1. At the end of the day: I am tired of this one and it is probably used a billion times per day.  Everyone knows that when the day ends, it is time to drink beer. So, the new cliché will be: When Beer Time Arrives
2. Sleep like a baby: Babies don’t sleep through the night at all, with lots of crying until they are about six months old, maybe four months if you are lucky. So, the old cliché is illogical.  The new cliché is: Sleep grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go. Or perhaps, Deep sleep invaded my soul. Alternatively, The sleep hammer hit and I never moved.
3. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. That is nice, and cute, but it has been used so much that it makes me fall asleep standing.  This now becomes: If you want to sing the blues, learn to play guitar. Or When life gives you lemons, pucker and watch Josey Wales.  Or, if you have to chew leather, imagine it tastes like steak.

Now, I am forced to provide some examples of well -worn clichés that need to be changed and refreshed so they have deeper meaning:

Cat Got your tongue?  Tell me, how many cats grab tongues? This becomes: You been eating glue?

Scared out of my wits: This becomes: That made me change my underwear.

Laughter is the best medicine: Should become: Laugh during the day or you will pee your bed at night

Don’t cry over spilled milk: This changes to:  It would be worse if you spilled the last beer.  Or perhaps, Screw up, do one hundred push – ups, then kiss your girl with passion.

What goes around, comes around: This becomes: The boomerang you threw is on its way back

Ugly as sin: I think it is best not to call anyone ugly, even if they are, except in certain circumstances that demand it. Although it is wrong to sin, and that can be ugly, I think sin can sometimes appear quite ravishing and beautiful before it destroys your soul.So, this becomes: Ugly as a fly in a latrine

These clichés may in fact appear in various S.R.Carson publications.  So, if you use them, please cite or give credit to S.R. Carson.  Or, feel free to be inspired to create your own.

©S.R.Carson 2020