Recently, during my multi – city, thousand points of light book signing tour across the United States, I paid a visit to the great state of Colorado. Beautiful state with crisp clean air – when the forests aren’t on fire, of course majestic purple mountains showing off their magnificent majesty.

You know what I mean.

So I went to a few restaurants and of course, the Italian restaurants like to give you oil to dip your crumbly bread in, and I’ve noticed that they are placing large volumes of green herbs into this oil. One time, I overheard several patrons say, “Bring on more of that oily happy herb dip waiter!”
Curious, I decided to dip it into that funny herb oil and it tasted pretty good! In fact, I ate several bowls of bread and then and asked for 12 refills of this natural, healthy dip. After all, since they were herbs, they had to be healthy, right? Then, I asked for anchovy dip (never eat the stuff usually), then a full meal of pasta, then dessert and I still had the munchies.

Why were the flowers moving around in semicircles on the wall while all the female servers suddenly grew Fu Man Chu hair on their faces?

Weird man! But cool.

Then my security team reminded me – you know, those highly trained super model women that are real stunners, but they can fool you by ripping your lips off if you look at them the wrong way. Best not to look at them at all, however, but if you do look at them, please keep your tongue in your mouth. Oh yeah, well they reminded me that this is Colorado and that funny weed here is legal so be careful. Never know where you’ll find it.

Certainly not in bread dipping oil, right?

Who knew?

I’m taking my tour caravan back to Kansas where you can eat herbs that aren’t funny.

S.R.Carson