Beauty And the Hunters

Somehow, I found myself separated from my five-man crew, and it happened overnight, because when I woke up from my hiding place in the thick brush, covered with scratches and bug bites, my comrades did not return to our pre-determined rendezvous point.   I do remember hearing those voices with a foreign accent muttering sardonically, “stoopeed ahneemals.”  So, I figured my buddies were captured Read More

Sui Generis

There was a knock at my front door, and it was a strong pound with six strong beats, as if it was a fist.  Of course, I did not come to the door, at least not right away, because I never do anymore, for quite a few reasons.  However, he was persistent, and damn, then, a few seconds later my cell phone received a text from an unknown phone number that read, “open the door please.”  Who t Read More

Christmas in Music City: Where is the Old Man?

I arrived in Nashville, took an Uber and arrived at my hotel.   I was pretty sure my interpretation of Ollie’s clues from the beach bar letter were correct.  He had to be in Nashville.  Now, if he wasn’t, then, it won’t be a complete waste of my time, because there’s sure a lot to do around here, places to see and music to enjoy.  I looked on the map provided to me by the staff Read More

Eat it or wear it

I saw a kid with a dirty shirt the other day—probably he dripped Ice cream on it or something, because I could see a few of the partially melted chocolate chips clinging on the yellow-smeared material and the chips bounced as he walked with his mom.  Interestingly, my keenly trained peripheral vision couldn’t help but notice his mom was bouncing too—a little differently than the chocolate chips. Read More

She Loves Red Wine and the Wine Loves her

Occasionally she will drink a beer if she feels the urge, but this is rare.  For example, at a baseball game when the vendor yells, “cold beer here”, or when she goes to a movie theater and absolutely must eat messy buttered popcorn, which of course, is mandatory.  On rare occasions, she will succumb to a martini, but this is even more rare than beer, because she doesn’t like to feel like she i Read More

When does a Richard Become a Dick?

The two proud parents are in the nursery, smiling with joy due to the birth of their son, and the nurse comes to them to fill out the birth certificate papers, and he or she asks, “What is the full name of your baby son?”  They say, “Dick Bill Johnson.”  The nurse then looks at them quizzically and asks again, “are you sure that is the um, correct name for the certificate?” “Nah, we Read More

Time to Find Ollie ASAP

It’s been over five weeks, and I haven’t heard anything from Ollie.  I imagine he’s ok and his health is perfect as always, otherwise, I imagine he would’ve somehow kept me informed if something was wrong that he needed me to know.  My last conversation, well, no, not really conversation, but a word puzzle he wrote for the bartender at the beach bar I think, was his way of giving me clues to Read More

When is it Safe to Use the R. Word?

I am not sure any of us know the answer to that question. Especially not me, because I have been studying this subject vigorously for most of my life, since I learned to read and write after becoming vigorously potty trained.  Unfortunately, after all the years of study and analysis, it seems my efforts have become fruitless, and yet, like the Holy Grail, I must keep searching for the answer. It must be there Read More

Miss T And I Are One

I really didn’t want her at all, but she seems to want me badly.  But then, of course, who would blame her, right? The problem is that I can’t get rid of her now, unfortunately.  She’s attached to me and always with me, wherever I go, or whatever I do.  She’s there with me at work, when driving, eating, social events, bathroom breaks, showers and well, I think you get it without furt Read More