It was a sultry day in southern California years ago, and our high school gym barely held all the newly graduating high school seniors sitting in their stuffy caps and gowns while their parents and friends filled up the bleachers.  Most of my friends studied their watches, hoping for a quick termination of the commencement ceremonies so they could catch some good waves while the action was still hot and the sun could still leatherize their tanned skin.

            I’m sure I wanted to head out and snag some good wave action too.  But the truth was I found myself lucky to be graduating, especially with all the trouble I caused back then.  Lucky I wasn’t wearing orange jail fashion.  So I remember listening carefully to the commencement speaker, yearning to glean a valuable morsel or two of valuable knowledge that would fly me smoothly into the jet stream I hoped would be my sparkling future.

            I’d never met a rabbi before, but I knew that he had to be a respected, educated man or he wouldn’t be speaking to us.  I had Jewish friends, but I didn’t remember them discussing their rabbi when we were out cruising around.  So I listened intently to him while my friends either snoozed or discussed what girl was wearing either a bikini or nothing at all under her commencement gown.

            Honestly though, I don’t remember 99% of what he said that glorious day, however, I do remember distinctly, to this day, the sentence he injected into my brain with his Yiddish/New York/I don’t know where accent.  It’s a sentence that has guided me on the path that has brought me to where I am today, or at least it was supposed to, if only I had understood its full meaning at that time and carried it with me like a tattoo, reminding me of its wisdom each time I took a shower.  But I finally understand now what he meant by his admonishment to us young and enthusiastic graduates.  Too bad it took me so long to understand it.  So here it is, oh patient ones:

“BEVARE THE VICHES OF VINE AND VIMMEN”

Yes, chew on that one for a while.  I thought he meant beware of the witches who hang out on Hollywood and Vine streets.  Then I realized they weren’t witches, just working girls trying to make it in life right?

The Viches of Vine and Vimmen?  Bevare?

Ah yes, the riches of fine wine and a good woman.  Can’t beat it.  The two go together like well you know, arithmetic:  good plus gooder equals Great!  But what could he have meant by “beware” of such good things?  Anything that tastes good and feels good must require you to seek more of both and then more again.  Perhaps he meant moderation in both pursuits, with safety being a prime concern, but always realizing that nothing in life compares to the love of a genuinely good woman with a loving soul, and that has nothing to do with wine.

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