MSGW is the title of a new video documentary I’m producing, inspired by my friend’s recently released short film: “Kama Sutra King”. Just kidding of course, but it is kind of a good idea. My readers understand this is all in clean fun. Would Bill Clinton then ask for the definition of “clean”? But aren’t you proud that I posted a picture with this piece of out of this world, stunning, adjective – laced prose?

Disclaimer: This post does not represent my observations of all the great medical students in America, nor does it represent my observations of any one single medical student, and in fact, it may not even be close to the truth. Therefore, if you are a medical student, or maybe a parent of a medical student and you are still offended, then you should be, because you just don’t get it.

I’ve had some exposures to third and fourth year medicals students during my private practice and I have relished the opportunity to teach, which I do. For free. If somehow I can impart some of my knowledge from the old school of ball – peen hammers to their young brains, then maybe, when I am sick, they can help me. Here is what I have observed:

1) They like to eat as much as they can, whenever they can, but they don’t gulp their food, thinking it will be snatched away by their attending, or having to run to an emergency. In fact, they like to sit in the doctor’s lounge, get there early and eat up all the food so us frazzled private attendings are relegated to the remaining half – consumed, but still opened cartons of milk and burnt white toast.
2) They like to watch TV and be relaxed, not a care in the world without spending rare free time in the library.
3) They may not know what a library is. Everything is digital.
4) They don’t have hardly any real responsibility for patient care.
5) They don’t show stress.
6) Their hair is perfect and they take showers daily, getting eight hours of blissful sleep.
7) They walk slowly and deliberately down the corridors of the hospital, never running and their feet are rarely airborne.
8) Their shoes are clean, and there’s no blood or vomit on them.
9) Their white lab coats are perfectly clean, not stuffed with manuals, books, 12 pens, flashlights, beepers, sandwiches, candy bars and wads of paper for note taking and small boxes of tissues to wipe stuff off their face. In fact, their pockets are empty except for their cell phone which they must use frequently for texting and face book etc.
10) Female medical students are ridiculously beautiful, as it has always been. I don’t know anything about the men.
11) They are not intimidated by us nasty attendings.
12) They have a life outside of the hospital.
13) Because of numbers 1 through 12, they are more perceptive and realistic about life than I was, and therefore, I am envious of their experience. However, I don’t regret the hard knocks that taught me medicine the old fashioned way.

While today’s brilliant medical student appears to be a uniquely different animal compared to the medical student species that I roamed with, which experience is better?

Who knows.

But what is the best way to learn that certain, “Je ne sais quoi”?

SRC