She Loves Popcorn

She is accomplished in her career, takes pride in her looks and her fitness, likes a little adventure as long as it’s not too dangerous or painful, and practices moderation and self-control —especially with food and alcohol but as far as men, she only chooses the best­—he must be self-confident but not arrogant, accomplished in his field of endeavor and always working to improve, but also striving to inspire her and yet protect her and her needs. Of course, he will be physically attractive, intelligent, and at times, funny enough to make her fall to the floor laughing because he is perfectly imperfect.  And he must believe in God the Almighty, that’s mandatory.

But all this moderation stuff is thrown out the window into the garbage can when it comes to popcorn. And no man, no matter who he is, can stop her from devouring all popcorn that is placed in front of her.  If he tries, he will fail miserably and she may even eat his popcorn if he’s not careful. Her favorite is movie theater buttered popcorn. The Lush butter-kissed popcorn drips down the sides of her mouth when she doesn’t wipe them fast enough due to the super-charged force -feeding that keeps her right hand busy while her left holds the bowl or package, guarding it from intruding hands or devastating spillage.

But before all this happens, her date will take her to the concession stand of the movie theater and he asks, “Would you like some popcorn and beer?”

“Well of course, thank you.”

He orders two beers and 2 small popcorn bags.

Uh oh. She loses her smile and says, “Thanks, but I’ll have the largest bucket of popcorn and you can have the small one.”

She immediately makes a bee-line to the butter dripper kiosk of the theater and carefully drips the slick butter onto her popcorn bowl with the lubricating opulence that is mandatory for her taste. She will never let it make the popcorn soggy however.   Smiling, she is now ready to go to the theater with her date and enjoy the movie.  And popcorn.  She will say only a few words during the incessant loud advertisements, and he understands this is quiet popcorn lovemaking time and he must remain respectful of the handfuls that she puts in her insatiable mouth and say nothing.  That would be best for him.

She usually likes red wine, swirling it around her mouth and tongue, cherishing the delicious bouquet with fragrances of oak and cherry, but when she’s eating popcorn, it has to be beer.  Yeah, nice cold beer with foam on the top that ends up as a beer-foam mustache on top of the shimmering butter clinging to her soft lips.

So, is she crazy about all flavors of popcorn?  Well, she will occasionally indulge in some caramel corn, and especially caramel corn with nuts or perhaps kettle corn, but none of the weird, candy-coated corn like chocolate or white-chocolate or whatever. At the office kitchen, at Christmas, various vendors bring them the large containers of multi-flavors, but she usually picks only the standard white popcorn or a little of the caramel corn, and that’s it.  She’s satisfied.   But then, she goes back to work, and smells someone cooking popcorn, and the invisible caress of the hot popcorn smell wafts like a sneaky fairy tease into her cute little twitching nostrils, commanding her to return for more, immediately.

When the movie is over, she goes to the ladies’ room, cleans up the butter from her lips, freshens up and puts her lipstick on, and now, she is back to her normal gorgeous self again. She smiles at her date, takes his hand, and the night will be glorious.

© 2025 SRCarson Publications.